One Flesh

Dear Weekly Readers!

Please enjoy this week's article written by Jorma Pesämaa from Finland. This article is about the very important topic of marriage.

May God bless your week.

ONE FLESH

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” (Ephesians 5:31)  

It is truly amazing that a Christian marriage unites a man and a woman as "one flesh!" Still, our reason questions: "Is this only an allegory, or does one really need to take this literally?" A person who desires to give even the slightest amount of glory to God has to conclude that the idea of one flesh is greatly emphasized in the Bible. God stated these words already when the first couple was married. Our Savior Himself used these words more than once when speaking about marriage. The Lord's apostle also writes about becoming one flesh when teaching the congregations. God desired to institute marriage with the intent that it would be a help and joy for a person. In Proverbs it is written beautifully …Rejoice with the wife of thy youth …Be thou ravished always with her love. (Proverbs 5:18-19) Still, because of our corrupt flesh the "marriage happiness" for many turns to the "marriage problem." A spouse seems to have so many faults; this attitude makes love grow cold and makes the mind bitter.

A worldly-minded person's solution to get out of this dead-end is often divorce—and later finding a new spouse. Reason again concludes: "I did my best to fix things; now it's best to put a stop to this relationship." But a person who takes God's Word into account looks for another solution. He or she remembers Jesus' words about marriage: What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Mark 10:9) A horseman can exchange a horse for a new one when problems start to arise with the current horse. Although I'm sure nobody bearing the name of a Christian thinks quite this lightly about changing spouses, the threshold for divorce seems to have gotten lower.... Let's not be led astray! The "one flesh" instituted by God is still valid. May we remember that the Bible places adultery and whoredom in the same category as other heathen sins.

The apostle vividly describes caring for a marriage in his letter to the Ephesians: So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies… For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it… (Ephesians 5:28-29)  Surely no man or woman actually hates their hand, foot or some body part so much that they would like to amputate it—no, not even if there are bad deficiencies and ailments. Rejecting a member of our own body is simply not an alternative or solution to the problem. No. If some body part is somehow handicapped, one wants to sacrifice all his wealth and energy to take care of it until it is better. In the same sacrificial way, spouses are to take care of each other so that their "one flesh" is restored.

Let it be mentioned that there have been special cases in the history of Christianity where a Christian has had to move separate from their spouse because of, for example, verbal abuse or physical violence. Being separated is milder than divorce in the respect that one is waiting for the situation to improve and doesn't want to break up the marriage. Paul also spoke about a marriage so bad that, for some reason, ended in divorce. In that case, the divorced were to remain single so that the possibility to return to the marriage was still there, and reconciliation was still the goal. And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband… (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)

So, God's Word firmly unites spouses as one flesh. Because of our corrupt flesh, not one marriage is without trials. There are faults in every Christian man and woman—God knew and knows this. As the medicine, as the fountain of power and love, He offers Christ's example in His Word—Christ's sacrificial love and unending forgiveness. May this medicine be enough for us as well!

“Another would have rejected me,
And given reasons to flee,
But me, You endure, and continually bear;
My debt You know—You paid it on Calvary there.”
(Zion's Song)